Episode 6 : Collaboration

This conversation explores the nuances of collaboration and co-creation, emphasizing the importance of shared vision, trust, and communication in successful partnerships. 

The Trifecta share personal experiences and insights on how to navigate the complexities of working together, highlighting the growth opportunities that arise from collaboration.

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:01

Welcome back to it starts with dot dot almost like we planned that. Almost. Almost. So in the last episode, we talked about celebration, acknowledging each other's gifts and um sharing wins and all those good things. And now you're at the point where you are seeing someone that you just like want to get closer to. You're just like, we should just do something together. And I think this is a good point to define collaboration versus co-creation, the way we're defining it. Again, this is all semantics around words. People do interchange those really regularly. The way we're defining collaboration is I have a skill, you have a skill, we're going to bring those skills together to create an offer or an experience or workshop for this audience. Co-creation would be there's a third thing that we create that wouldn't have been around if we didn't create it together because we created one plus one equals three or two plus one equals four, however you want to do it. So there's a there's a third entity that is born out of you. There now there I there's kind of like another level, which is like conscious partnership. That's like the marriage, right? Where there's a contract in place, you're like going to see attorneys, making sure that all the assets are allocated well, like like actually, like we're really not gonna get into that here because it's kind of like starting a business together, right? We're not doing that conscious partnership piece. We're kind of like doing the part where you're a business owner, you have your own amazing offers and gifts, but the collaboration piece is where we start having a shared vision. So um at this point, you start to see like, what do we care about? What are we excited about? And that sort of the vision piece becomes the anchor that leads you into creating something. And it could just be really simple. It could just be like, we're gonna create a private podcast together or we're gonna do a workshop together. So I'd love to for each of us to kind of go around and talk about collaboration from our own point of view and any any we'll talk about pitfalls, but really kind of define knowing how you're ready to collab. Let's collab with someone.

SPEAKER_01 2:09

Yeah, I don't know that I've ever, yeah, uh I I don't know that I could name when I have felt ready for it, really. I mean, this co-creation that we are doing now and like the stages that we've moved through um has felt the most in lockstep and really clicked and just in good flow. And so before, you know, again, kind of going to like my process of like seeing the potential in something, um I'll get excited, I'll let my kind of gut run with something like yes, this thing is needed. And um I don't always necessarily, I guess, like in reflection, have the same buy-in on the other side, which I recognized as really like there needs to be like that same mutual excitement um for that to like really take off really well. Um I love bringing value to people. I love celebrating other people's gifts. And I think that truly going through each of these steps in this framework is really important because if I if I'm not gonna refer somebody's individual work, I shouldn't collaborate with them. Yes, I shouldn't come together and put my name with theirs, like I I really have to have that piece. And and I wonder if that's what is missing from a lot of collaborations that don't go well is the collaboration value is seen because oh, I'm partnering with this person, so now it's a valuable thing. Like you really have to be cheering for that person on their own, individually, in order for collaboration to really work. Um and yeah, I I don't every collaboration attempt has been so different, and it's had great like learning lessons through, and some things that have had wings and taken off and um have been a good like tester. Um and other times just like never never took off at all. So it's like there's so many versions of it and uh so many great takeaways. And I'm still continuing to try. Yeah, you know, it's collaborating.

SPEAKER_00 4:36

It brings up, I know your original question was like examples, and Heather, what you were just sharing brings up some things for me too that I've been involved in a number of collaborations over the years, and I've been invited to be part of collaborations over the years because I'm a doer. I do get shit done. And then I find myself holding the bag. I'm like, oh, I'm doing all the heavy lifting. That's why I was invited to this party. Or there was a an assumption that, oh, if this person gets involved or we can get this person involved, we can kind of stamp back. Like it's sort of interesting when I think about, yeah, there's probably been more experiences like that where, and I probably at the time too wasn't outspoken about, hey, like we all need to be on the same page and have really clear expectations around what that collaboration is going to look like. So we're moving into sort of that the pitfalls maybe of collaboration are where things can go sideways right now. And I've sat on, as examples, like shared vision, huge, right? So I've sat on a number of boards in my time. I'm really passionate about um giving back that's at real important value for me. And I've sat on a number of boards where it's volunteer driven and there's a small group that get all the work done, and the others are just like, yeah, I'm on that board, right? Like it's on their resume or whatever, or their C B. And it's really rare in my experience, now that I'm being more thoughtful about it, it's really rare to be in a collaboration where everyone is showing up fully to the experience, whatever the experience is. So to come to our experience, um, you know, when we came together, shared vision for sure. We had some ideas we wanted to explore together. Really clear that, like Heather, you coming in, we're like, I don't want to do this on my own. Like, I think we could do this better together. And I think you and I, Alina, really bought into that and wanted to be a part of it. And it's it's changed, it's organically shifted as we've gotten to into the details, into more of the details around what we want it to look like. And we've been open to trying things and it not going off right away and then realizing, oh, this is going to be a better fit. So we've gotten even stronger through that practice together. And so in this collaboration, I think there was trust really early on, and we were really open to trying some things out and then coming back to the table. So this has been a great experience of collaboration, which has evolved even beyond that. And we'll get into that in the next episode as well. We'll come back. But yeah, I think it's really important that, like, part of like what I'll speak from my experience when I was coming up in my leadership roles, I wanted to be invited into these circles. So I would say yes to everything. And then I would be doing all this work and I'd be spreading myself really thin. And I'm like, I also have a full-time job I need to be focused on, right? So I have I have learned a lot of lessons through it as well. And um, yeah, it's it's really interesting to see just how my own involvement in collaborations has changed over time. I would say for sure I'm way more selective these days and probably have very different conversations now about what it could look like. And um there was something I feel like, Elena, you said early on when we came together, I feel like it was you, because this is a framework as well, you worked with before around the wording, is not the the idea of it was like we have to be open to like we may not all be on the same page about how it evolves and what it looks like. And I think that gives permission then to learn, well, let's just find out.

SPEAKER_02 8:10

So yeah, I think what you're talking about if you're if I'm feeling your vibe here is the the maturity to come to the collaboration with your own voice and with being able to say, like, this doesn't work for me, this works for me, but not in like a you know, like my way or the highway thing. In fact, the opposite of that, it's um knowing that through past collaborations and all versions of it, that when you don't say it, you're gonna be resentful of something and you're gonna not want to be in it anyway. So what's the point? And I think this isn't, it is a maturity and experience thing, not an age thing, a maturity and experience thing where you're like, I have done this the wrong way and not that there's no point in coming to the table and being some version of yourself that you think they want to see versus like this is my energy, this is my flow. And I'm also open to growing and evolving and trying new things and being experimental and like seeing where it goes, and with just literally all of business and marketing is like an experiment, right? Like anyone who tells you otherwise is like, I mean, maybe they've done it enough times or like we've got the formula, great. But most things, especially in the digital space, are really experimental and change very quickly. So I think that's really important. And Heather, what you said is really important if you're not curious, if you're not connected, if you're not already in some kind of community and you're not genuinely celebrating each other's gifts, and then you try to collaborate, it's just gonna feel off. It's gonna, it's not gonna be received well. I sort of sort of thinking of like the summit energy, like how many summits I've been invited to over the last, you know, 20 years. Some of them were actually really good because I feel like I was already connected to the person. They knew my work, they've been to something I've done, maybe even in my programs. And then they invited me in to like a summit where there's maybe like eight people or 10 people, sometimes 20 people, and you're still feeling valued. You're having conversations and you're offering something that's really valuable to their community because they know what you do, versus when you get invited to a summit or even a podcast where they really don't know you. Their curious low curiosity level is zero. They're just like a P, you're on a PR list somewhere, and they're checking off the code. They're checking it off, and they're like, we love to have you on this thing. And like, that doesn't make any sense. Like, why would you invite me to this? You know, it just it's like that low, and it really speaks to probably the quality of the outcome anyway, um, that I would not have any desire to be part of. But it really takes like honoring yourself, honoring the other person. I have this gift, I see your gift, I think this would be a cool combo, and we can teach it together, you know, let's do that. And then you're combining your skills and your audiences and creating something really cool, but you're still in your gift. That's like what collaboration is. And like you said, Sonia, like there's times where maybe you're invited just for a certain purpose, which means that it didn't go through the framework of like we want to know more about each other, we're connected, we're in community, we're celebrating each other, we should totally do this. It feels natural, like a natural next step. Let's see how it goes. Yeah. And I think um it's a really fun place to be, and you can create something that again, like coming back to, you know, don't make assumptions, you want to be curious about what's coming, but you're still like really, really in your gift. And like I can come and do the messaging piece, you can come and do the semantics, and you can come do the strategy. Like when we do a workshop together, it's a true collaboration because we each are in our own gift, like we can celebrate each other. I know we've talked about this in a previous episode, but it really is a true collaboration because each the people who are sitting and receiving are getting three separate things that go together well that we believe are crucial to be collaborated. Um, of course, there's many other things we can bring into the table, like we could bring an accountant and talk about money and whatever, but these are the gifts that we bring in collaboration. So yeah, and trust is a really important piece of it, like you said.

SPEAKER_00 12:08

Yeah. I think it's so interesting because I'm sitting here now thinking about like the positive experiences in collaboration and the ones that where I learned more versus had joyful experiences. And I think, yeah, trust was missing, right? It's like there there it becomes more transactional. It's like, what can you do for us? Or how can you make this happen so that we don't have to worry about it? You know, there's like there's some perhaps a not so hidden, but a bit of a hidden agenda, right? Why you're being called into a collaboration. But when trust is there and when the conversations can be flowing and open, and you're not afraid to say, like, yeah, this doesn't work for me, or what about this instead? And you're not afraid of hurting somebody's feelings because it's not about that, right? That maturity that you had mentioned, Elena, is there. Um, I think those are the collaborations that are really exciting to be a part of, and you're you get inspired by each other, and there's that extra momentum that is built or created from that trust. So that found those foundational pieces are there.

SPEAKER_01 13:07

And I think that too, going back to the four agreements that we've mentioned before, like not taking things personally. I think in like the collaboration mindset as well, and in the co-creation coming up next is also that maturity and awareness of like I I for me, I am so used to like working on my own, going from idea to execution very quickly and just like running with something. And I don't want to do that anymore. And so also being mindful of like how do I show up at meetings if I'm bringing an idea or something, something to the table, like also not like being using my skills enough to like bring some vision to the table, but also not have it just be Heather's vision. Like, here's an idea for a direction we could go. Do we like that? Do we wanna park that for another time? What do we need to add to it? What do we need to take away from it? Um, and and really just coming with like a humility factor of like, I don't I don't have all the answers. And like, yes, one of my skills is like big picture vision and all of that. And it's in that collaboration stage is like really not, it's it's not any one person's time to shine in that way, right? Like it's not my job to just direct the vision and just go, go, go. It's like here's something I'll put in the middle. Let's each pick it up, look at it, turn it around, make sure that this like works okay for each of us so that it can be a true like collaboration piece. And thinking back to experiences that haven't worked out well, that's been the expectation of me is like I show up to the collaboration with like this vision, this is what we're doing, this is how it's gonna go, and there isn't that mutual like fodder that we can just kind of like work with and like kind of you know, not again going to create co-creation, but um how does this flow together with both people's buy-in or all people's buy-in, right?

SPEAKER_02 15:20

Yeah, and this is an important phase. I learned this term a long time ago called speaking the unspokens. I I don't even know what tradition it comes from or if it's just like a thing that we learned to do is this is a really important stage to speak unspokens, meaning whether it's part of the process in co-creation, or whether it's just, I'm sorry, in collaboration and co-creation, of course, um, or whether it's something that you take on personally is to make sure that you're speaking up for yourself. And not so much in like, you know, I'm here, this is my way, this is what I want, versus like, wait a minute, hold on, I didn't understand that, or I'm I'm unclear here, I can't move forward until I have clarity, or I really feel like this is not appropriate, or the right timing, or any version of that, whatever your heart is holding that you're not saying is gonna get like buried underwater, like a beach ball. And then tomorrow or a month from now, it's gonna pop up in the inappropriate place and it's gonna be just an you know, it's gonna be an unpleasant experience, regardless of whether it's a big, you know, breach in trust or you just feel like this isn't working anymore all of a sudden. Because you just just like any relationship, if you're not, if you're not if you each aren't trusting that everyone's coming with their own set of like personal development skills and saying, like, I'm not sure yet, I need to be at 100%, or like help me get to get help me get to 90, like I'm not sure here, or like this really is not for me, or even stepping out of a collaboration when it's time is really important. I think if you are guided by a shared vision, trust, speaking up for yourself, speaking the unspokens, I think that would make a beautiful collaboration. And it actually builds what it's built for me, being in collaboration with people is a new way to see myself in relation to my work and into the other person's work. And it does like birth something new within me too, because now you're like you're just in energy with other people. And it like I know for me, I'm most creative when I'm listening to something or in conversation. I'm big like verbal processor. So sometimes I don't even know really what I'm thinking until I say it. And it just like you can vibe off of that for yourself and others. So I think that's a beauty of collaboration. And I would say, you know, if you're very clear on what you do, your gifts are, it would only help you. If you're unclear, you're not so sure, you're not really understanding like how to be in that relationship yet, it's gonna, it's gonna teach you something. So go for it anyway. I would say, but it's gonna, you're gonna learn very quickly. Um, of course, you shouldn't force it or rush it, but I think if there is an opportunity to learn about yourself when you when you're invited into something. I I will say this if you're invited into something, a collaboration, and you're feeling unsure doesn't mean you shouldn't do it. It just means there might be a little insecurity that you need to just, you know, do your work, find someone who's your rally, like, you know, get wing person. Remind yourself, look at your atta girls or atta boys, your emails, remind yourself of your successes. Like you deserve to be in a room that you want to be in. And just because you're feeling a little insecure doesn't mean that you shouldn't do it. It just means that it's an opportunity of growth because you're at your edge. Always so I think collaborations will bring all that opportunity as well. Yeah, agreed. Definitely. Excellent. All right, in our next session, we're talking about co-creation, and we're gonna talk about when you're ready to move from collaboration to co-creation, any red flags, and what happens when people try to skip straight to co-creation. Ah, that happens a lot, I think. Um, and really we'll define co creation, some pitfalls, and we'll see what else comes up in our co creation. I would love to talk more about co creation.